Hugh Jackman

Me: Hey look it's a picture of Hugh Jackman in sequins! Who can pull that off? Hugh Jackman can pull that off.
Karlee: He looks like a gay disco ball.
Me: (Laughing) I know isn't he beautiful?!

I'm a magic baby (omegle)

?: Hi.
Me: Hello.
?: You are a girl.
Me: Maybe.
?: Sure you are.
Me: Are you sure about that?
?: I can read that at the first word. But you are indeed a girl...from the US...or maybe the UK.
Me: I could be neither or none at all.
?: I can feel it. You have brown hair and eyes like the stars. A magic baby. Clearly one with a strong soul.
Me: And how is this so?
?: I can't explain.

You delicious cupcake...(omegle)

?: Greetings delicious stranger
Me: How did you know I was a chocolate cupcake?
?: Psychic

Kirk and Spock (omegle)

Me: Hello Spock.
?: Hello Kirk.
Me: Fine day for an adventure.
?: I'd say.
Me: Let's send in some men to investigate
?: Okay, you take the fat one

You're so slow!

Josh: Do your homework!
Me: I am!
Josh: How much of it is done?
Me: I have one complete sentance.
Josh: If you were in a race against Kenyan, he'd be home having dinner already.
Me: Debatable
Josh: Can you run as fast as a Kenyan?
Me: I so could.
Josh: Yeah if you shoot him first.